Paradoxes

Fidgeting my thumb,
Watching the days go by,
An unending pit through my stomach,
The world falls right through

Priorities no longer order themselves neatly,
Desires tangled into a mess of barbed wire,
Love or lust, Passion or comfort,
Can’t choose since neither choice exists

Frustration,
Can’t find perfection,
But I don’t want perfect,
What do I want?

Something,
Anything,
But not that,
Where’s the other option

Everything dynamically shifts,
The goals and goalposts,
Wishes and commitments,
Lumps in my consistency

Yesterday everything made sense,
The plan chalked out,
Today it is all meaningless,
As though I run in the wrong direction

Can’t specify the benefit,
Was the benefit the motivator,
Action for action’s sake,
What was the real reason?

I want that, but not that,
Not exactly that, somewhat like that,
This pinpoint, not that one,
Perhaps I never even knew

Wants and needs,
Goals and gratification,
Critiques and acceptance,
Unravelling yet entangling

Paradoxes,
And yet so simple